When you feel that life is too cruel..

i've spent over an hour to think about what should i write for this post. usually, when i got no idea on what to post on blog, i'll not posting any. but suddenly, tonight, i feel like i want to write something. but i have no idea what to write..

in the same time,i was watching a Korea's reality shows featuring U-Kiss,one of the top new idol group. on the first 2 episodes, they broadcast about their new life as a new idol group..how they moved to a dormitory and spend their time. but on the third episodes, they showed a melancholy stories about the members..how hard they try to survive in the industry and how people don't recognized them on their early debut days. and how people doubt their talent and how hard they tried to promote their group's name. it was so touching and tearing when they confessed how they wish to commit suicide just because many companies had rejected them during the audition. but they've made it because of the FAMILY. the family which always satnds behind them and support them in whatever they do..it makes me almost cry ( i did cry ;p ). because, once, i thought the same solution too..frustrating isn't it?

i keep thinking, how my life will be in 10 years. do i get a good job? or do i suffer? i don't know..but i hope not. currently, i'm not in the good situation. academics, financial, friendship, love and you name it, is not in a good condition. it seems all of it turn upside down and i'm almost sink in the middle of the chaos because i don't know what should i do..it's too depressing and how i wish i'm born to be a different person. but all this things makes me stronger..i know i'm struggling very hard right now. my body seems too weak to hold it, but i'm trying my best to get all of the matters out of my way. i need to be strong..in physically, yes, i'm strong..but mentally not..:(

how i wish i can be happy like other people. i try to be happy but i couldn't. i always has the thought that i'm a loser even i know i'm not..

lets hope for the best in the future.. i know He has a great plan for me..:)

p/s : oh yes! did you notice my new layout??cool isn't it?theehehe