Grateful..

i'm 22 now and in february 2010, 1'll be 23. what a long journey i have been thru. looking back in time, i remember how ungrateful i am. i always unsatisfied with what i got. namely; academic, friends, love and family affair. everything seems imbalance and i always get lost myself. it felt like this world is unfair to me. why others have what i don't?that's the question that had been mingling in my mind during my teen days..

but now, i'm grateful of who i am, i know i'm great in academics ( that's if i have determination to success ), i know i have a superb family that stand both behind and beside me, i know i have wonderful friends who always inspire me and i know i have everyone who cares for me, stand beside me. and i'm grateful for that. oh!something i forgot, i know i'm a good Catholic, even if i seldomly go to church to pray..but i'm grateful for always obeying the God rules and the Ten Amendments..

since ago, i love to watch people around me. i love to study them if i could. to me, people's life is so amazing. how they survive and how they live in this world is something magical. some has to face challenging obstacles to go thru their life and some just say what they want and they will get it. life is something precious. i don't know why some other people took an easy way to end their miserable life ( talking about suicide ). don't they love themselves?i do..

along this almost 23 years life of mine, i saw so many things in my life. sorrow, happiness, joy, love and so on. i experience everything and still wondering what the future has plan for me..hopefully good dow~

the most painful moment is when me and my friend decided to take our own path. it's painful. i wondered why we can't be like others, who care about their friend.i know i am..but why can't they?i love friendship as much as i love myself. it's an important part in my life, but everytimes,it will ruins. i guess i can't never find a thru friendship..hopefully just for now. i have a long way to go to accomplish all my goals, and definitely, in the future, i need a shoulder to cry on when i'm in terrible situation..*sigh*

when i met new friend, they always asked me, "do you have boyfriend?". i admit, sometimes it feels like i wanna slap them. but that's impossible..i learn thru time and i know how to cool myself down. when i answered, "no lah. i don't have one ", they started to question me "why?impossible you don't have anyone in your mind"..hell yes. i do have someone in my mind. so what?family comes first my dear friend.besides, i hate to involve myself in that super-complicated matters. it's not that i don't want to love someone, i do, but it's not the time yet..still a long way to go bebeh..=) so bye2 love for now..see you in the future..ngeheehe..

there's a few things that i really wanted to try..here's the list :

1) bungee jumping - love the adrenaline rush bebeh!
2) triathlon - i really wanna try this one out. but have to lose weight lor~haha
3) travel to Japan - i love this country so much!
4) sailing on a boat in the middle of the ocean - i love water!
5) driving a superb sports car; ferrari, porche, lamborghini - for once!
6) conquered my fear of heights - this one i wish i can overcome it..
7) have a nice coffee talk with Tun Dr. Mahathir - SALUTE!
8) go to church as often as i can..-amen
9) play guitar! - i've tried it once and i failed :(
10) learn ninjutsu - i love martial arts!

i only listed out 10 things only because if it's more than that, i'll started to get confused..haha..accomplish this 10 and i'll make a new list!yeayy!

well, got to go for now..got something to do. see you in my next post..

ja mata ne!